Mom Demands That Ex Pay Half of Daughter's Irish Dance Trip That She Will Attend, He Refuses Because He Doesn't Want to Pay For Her Vacation

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 12, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

What is a co-parent obliged to pay for compared to their ex?

Breakups are already complicated when they only involve two adults, but put kids into the mix, and things are taken to a whole other level. When you have a dependent to think about, the responsibility and the expense are far higher. You can't just leave your former partner behind; you have to collaborate with them to make sure that any children come first.

Even with the most amicable of separations, this can come as a challenge. There are always going to be times when each parent has a slightly different idea of what they are going to be contributing, and this is a topic that is ripe for arguments. The disagreements about caring and providing for kids when you aren't together anymore can be more troublesome than the ones that you have in a relationship.

There are many factors to consider when it comes to what you add financially when you co-parent a child, such as income, legal obligation, and what has been agreed between parents. Even if it feels like you have thought about every possible situation, there is every chance you may be thrown a curveball to deal with.

 

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  • A representation of a man piggybacking a girl down a grassy hill towards the sea with a cliff in the background
    via Colin + Meg (Unsplash+)

    A representation of a man piggybacking a girl down a grassy hill towards the sea with a cliff in the background

  • In this story, a father whose ex had remarried was told that his daughter's mom, her partner, and his daughter would be going on a trip to Ireland with her Irish dance studio. The mom usually paid for their child's extracurricular activities, but she was expecting her ex to fund half of the vacation that he would not be joining them on.

    He disagreed with this, as he did not want to pay for his daughter's mom and husband to take the trip as well. However, he was worried that if he refused, he would not be looked upon favorably for failing to make the payment.

  • Would I be wrong for not paying for my daughter's trip?

    A little background before I get fully into it. My ex and I currently have an exact 50/50 split of my daughter. I pay her $600/month child support and fully pay for my daughter's education, which is about 7k a year on top of the child support. Income purposes I make
    via cruzincoyote
  • about 160k and shes around 120-130k. She is remarried as well, so is a dual income home. Although I dont expect her new husband to have to pay for my daughter, she does have help with the bills.
    via cruzincoyote
  • We have an agreement that my ex pays for all extra activities. One of those activities is Irish Dance. Her dance studio is going to Ireland next summer, my ex and her husband will be going with my daughter, I will be staying home. The total cost for the trip is about 3k for just my daughter. She
    via cruzincoyote
  • wants me to pay for half of it. I haven't made a decision as its still a year away, but I'm leaning towards not giving half because its essentially going to be a vacation for them. Would I be the a h_le for not paying the other half?
    via cruzincoyote
  • Edit* my daughter will still be going even if I don't give half. She won't be missing out on it. Edit again** this dance trip is purely cultural, organized by the dance studio. There is no competitions involved.
    via cruzincoyote
  • A representation of a woman smiling as she takes a selfie with grassy hills and the sea in the background
    via Colin + Meg (Unsplash+)

    A representation of a woman smiling as she takes a selfie with grassy hills and the sea in the background

  • LivinTheDream_22 Contact the dance studio and get the exact expenses. Find out what the $3000. covers exactly. This way you know if one parent is going for free or how it works and if this
    via LivinTheDream_22
  • money is 100% for your daughter, etc. If money isn't an option, it may not be worth the battle.
    via LivinTheDream_22
  • lawyer-girl You could take her instead.
    via lawyer-girl
  • Expressdough She doesn't get to reneg on the deal you made just because she doesn't like the cost. Took my kid to Disneyland in the US at 10, he barely remembers it now at 19. While a trip would be nice, it's not a must. She'll survive.
    via Expressdough
  • You're already holding up your end of the bargain and then some on a single income. As a mum myself, I sure as h I wouldn't pay for it. But I'd throw in some spending money. NTA.
    via Expressdough
  • Significant_Soup_919 She's in charge of activities. This is an activity. She pays.
    via Significant_Soup_919
  • houseofnim You and your ex have an agreement. Stick to it. NTA If it were me, I would her a bunch of spending money though.
    via houseofnim
  • pinkmermaidscales She pays for extracurriculars, s she should pay for this.
    via pinkmermaidscales
  • Choice-Pudding-1892 I don't understand why you're paying child support if you have exact 50-50 custody of your daughter. My son and his ex-wife have 50-50 custody of their children and neither one of them
    via Choice-Pudding-1892
  • pay Support to the other because they each have them exactly half the time.
    via Choice-Pudding-1892
  • OrangePinky Toe Is the wife going to pay for half the child's trip if you take her?
    via OrangePinkyToe
  • readergirl35 NTA. So 50/50 custody and you still pay child support and all schooling. Tell her you will happily pay 1/2 of your daughter's trip if she pays 1/2 of the schooling this year.
    via readergirl35

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